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Title: Not So Much
Author: lillyjk
Pairing: McShep, implied past McKay/Brown
Rating: Hard R or NC-17 light
Recipient: maverick4oz
Spoilers: General Season 4, Carter is in Atlantis and so is Dr. Keller
Summary: John figured that Katie would eventually get tired of Rodney and maybe Rodney would need a shoulder to cry on and he and John would share a bottle of Zelenka's home brew and one thing would lead to another and the night would end with Rodney spread out underneath John, all wide blue eyes and hard cock and crooked mouth begging to be kissed.
Author's Note: Betaed by the lovely scifijunkie. I had a lot of fun writing this fic! Jealous John is so freakin' cute. maverick4oz wanted McKay/Sheppard, McKay/Dex or gen Team fic. with pining, cluelessness, jealousy, h/c or any combination of those things. I havean unholy love of Rodney's fingers in motion and his surprised, happy smile. Kissing, nuzzling and small intimate touches -- like the stroking of a thumb across a wrist -- make me happy. I like first time fics, AUs and episode tags. Overall, I'm pretty easy to please.

Not So Much

After nearly four years in the Pegasus Galaxy, John thought he'd pretty well gotten past the whole Rodney thing. Yeah, sometimes he still had the occasional vague fantasy. Watching Rodney's clever hands work their magic on a piece of Ancient tech still made his mouth go dry. And every once and a while John might be guilty of manipulating the Ancient air conditioning to blow just on Rodney so he could watch Rodney's nipples go hard and poke out through the thin t-shirts he favored but he never (almost) stared at Rodney's plump ass anymore.

Rodney was dating someone.

Rodney was dating someone female with soft skin and long eyelashes and tits, pretty much the complete physical opposite of John. After all, it was pretty hard to hate Katie Brown even if John did have a passing thought of how great it would be if Rodney developed a Katie-allergy.

Even John had to admit that she and Rodney were, well, cute. Besides, John figured that Katie would eventually get tired of Rodney and maybe Rodney would need a shoulder to cry on and he and John would share a bottle of Zelenka's home brew and one thing would lead to another and the night would end with Rodney spread out underneath John, all wide blue eyes and hard cock and crooked mouth begging to be kissed.

Yeah, well, maybe John's fantasies were more than just occasional and vague.

But somehow, when the inevitable occurred and Katie very gently told Rodney that it wasn't going to work out and she was leaving Atlantis, Rodney didn't come to John for comfort. He brushed off John's suggestion of a movie night. He waved away John's offer of a game of chess. He even rolled his eyes when John showed up at his door with a bottle of Zelenka's finest.

And so it was, that nearly three months after Rodney and Katie broke up, John still hadn't had occasion to offer Rodney a shoulder to lean on, or a mouth to kiss, or a cock to suck.

So when Rodney started smiling for no reason at all and being all around less grumpy than John was used to, John started considering just who had been comforting Rodney. Not because John was jealous or anything, but Rodney was his friend and he was vulnerable and John watched out for his own.

Not that he would be adverse to some sort of friends with benefits arrangement.


At first he suspected Colonel Carter. For all her eye rolling and cutting comments, she and Rodney did seem to have more than just a working relationship. Plus, she was blonde and hot and stacked in ways that made the standard issue BDUs a lot more appealing.

He had caught Carter and Rodney in the act more than once since Katie Brown had transferred off of Atlantis. Well, maybe not in the act exactly, but she and Rodney were forever sniping at each other about wormholes and quantum physics and other things that John was pretty sure counted as verbal foreplay among the genius crowd.

It was only after he accidentally walked in on Carter and Dr. Keller in a particularly compromising position that John discounted her as the reason for Rodney's sudden good spirits.

And wow, John was really, really glad that Rodney didn't know just how uh bendy Carter was.


After a few more days passed, John was convinced it wasn't his imagination, people really were sniffing around after Rodney like dogs in heat. Maybe Rodney was giving off some souped up pheromone or something. John had even had to pull Cadman aside and lecture her about the impropriety of some of the wisecracks she liked to make about her time trapped inside of Rodney's body.

Then, less than a week after he'd caught Cadman telling a wide-eyed Miko that Rodney was packing, “the big one,” John found Radek and Rodney huddled around a laptop in the lab. Allegedly they were working on some sort of new algorithm, but John was sure that Radek had been leaning in a little closer than necessary.

He'd never considered Major Lorne as a serious contender until the mission on PX1-745 went bad.

“Good shooting out there.” John slapped Rodney on the shoulder as they boarded the puddlejumper. “You've improved.”

Rodney beamed and puffed his chest out. “Yes, well, I didn't want to say anything, but,” he leaned in close to John's ear. “I've been practicing.”

John smirked, “No offense, Rodney, but playing Doom isn't the same as handling a real gun.”

Rodney snorted, “Very funny, Colonel. But I'll have you know that Major Lorne has been helping me out.” He raised his chin, “We're going to practice again tonight in the armory.”

“Oh,” John's voice trailed off. “Well, that's good then.” He didn't know why, but the thought of Major Lorne and Rodney hanging out together didn't sit quite right with him.

He was just checking out Rodney's progress, John told himself as he headed toward the armory later than evening. After all, Rodney was a member of his team, and John had a very vested interest in making sure that Lorne was teaching him the right way to handle a gun. Just because he and Rodney had a purely platonic relationship didn't mean that John couldn't be concerned about him.

Lorne was standing behind Rodney, arms stretched out alongside Rodney's as he positioned the gun. “The key is making sure you follow through.” He leaned in a little closer, his thigh sliding against Rodney's hip.

And wow, hadn't Lorne ever heard of personal space.

It didn't seem to bother Rodney though, he just shifted over a little bit and tightened his fingers on the gun. He glanced back at Lorne over his shoulder, his face splitting in a crooked grin when he saw John. “Colonel, you're just in time. Watch this.”

Only John wasn't looking at the target when Rodney fired, instead he was staring at Lorne and thinking vicious, vicious thoughts.

“Did you see? That was nearly a perfect head shot.” Rodney looked inordinately pleased with himself, one hand gesturing toward the target and the neat little hole left by his shot.

John smiled, “Yeah, Rodney. Good job.” He narrowed his eyes when he turned his attention to Lorne, “I hate to interrupt but I need the Major here to take a look at...some paperwork.” He felt a tiny bit better when Lorne hastily stepped back from Rodney.

Rodney looked crestfallen. “But he was going to show me how to clean my new gun.”

John's smile tightened. “I'm pretty sure I know just exactly what the Major was planning on showing you.” He nodded to Lorne. Yeah, he would see to it that Lorne was going to be way too busy to be giving Rodney any shooting lessons in the foreseeable future. “I'll take it from here.”

Later, as he was heading back to his room alone with what felt like a permanent case of blue balls, John thought that spending a half hour guiding Rodney's hands through the motions of taking apart and reassembling his gun was not exactly conducive to this whole platonic relationship thing. Watching Rodney's nimble fingers glistening with oil slide along polished metal made him think of Rodney's fingers doing other things.

Non-platonic things.

Involving oil.

And John.


After the armory incident and about a dozen masturbatory fantasies involving Rodney and his hands, and when he was feeling particularly kinky, Rodney, his hands, and his gun, John thought he had things under control again.

Rumor had it that Carter and Keller were keeping each other occupied in new and inventive ways. Lorne was busy recreating about six months worth of his mission reports that John had “accidentally” misplaced right around the time that all of Lorne's computer files were corrupted by a virus. From what he could tell, both Cadman and Radek were giving Rodney a pretty wide berth these days.

So, when the team had to spend the night camping on PX-433 John was feeling like things were back to normal. Rodney was complaining and grumpy and all around acting like a man who hadn't been laid in months.

The status quo was restored.

All was right in the universe.

John and Rodney's platonic relationship was just as it should be. Neither of them was having any sex.

Or so he thought.

He paused outside the tent he was supposed to share with Rodney, hand paused in the motion of pulling the flap open.

“Jesus, Ronon, that feels good.” Rodney's words were followed by a long drawn out moan of pleasure, the same sort of eager little sound he usually made when there was chocolate pudding in the mess.

“I told you I was good with my hands.” Ronon sounded a little out of breath, his words punctuated by a grunt.

John went still, no way. No freakin' way.

There was another one of those moans and then Rodney spoke again. “I've never had it like that. It's so hard it almost hurts. But, damn...Is that your elbow?”

John's eyes went wide. Elbow? What the fuck? Was he fisting him? That was, god, that was, well, hot. He had an image of Rodney on all fours, his pale body sheened with sweat as Ronon worked him open with his hand.

“No, that was my knee.”

John had heard enough. He pushed the tent flap back and ducked inside. “What the hell is going on in here?”

In the dim light cast by the travel lantern, Ronon was crouched over Rodney's prone body, one knee pressed firmly in the center of Rodney's bare back. His hands were resting on Rodney's shoulders.

Rodney lifted his head from where it was resting on his crossed arms and glared at John. “Do you mind, Colonel? He's just about got the kink worked out.”

John felt his face flush, the sight of Ronon's dark hands against Rodney's pale skin made something twist in his gut. “Yeah, Rodney, I do mind.” He jerked his head toward the campfire. “It's Ronon's turn to keep watch.”

Ronon let out a grunt, “Sorry, McKay.”

Was John imagining it, or did Ronon give Rodney's shoulder a little squeeze before shifting back and standing up? John clenched his teeth, giving Ronon a stiff nod as the other man stepped out of the tent.

“Sorry, Rodney. I guess you'll just have to get your spa treatment some other day.” John knelt down and unrolled his sleeping bag with a little more force than necessary.

Rodney sat up, his arms crossing over his bare chest. “Just what exactly is your problem, anyway?”

John snorted, “I don't know what you're talking about.” He deliberately turned his back on the other man as he started unlacing his boots. He was not going to look at Rodney's bare chest and the sweet curve of his biceps. This was platonic, purely platonic.

Rodney let out an exasperated sigh. “Don't think I haven't noticed this whole caveman act of yours. You act like a jealous little fourteen year old girl whenever I spend time with anyone else. Really, Colonel, we're not in grade five. I can have more than one friend.”

John's shoulder stiffened, “You're imagining things, McKay.” He tossed his boots to the side with a thud and stretched out on his bedroll on his back. He closed his eyes and started thinking about baseball. He was so not going to think about Ronon's hands all over Rodney. “Go to sleep.”

Rodney huffed, “I am not imagining things.” He leaned over, his face close to John's. “And I'm not the only one who's noticed. People are talking.” He let out a little laugh. “Radek's convinced you've got a crush on me.”

John's eyes shot open, his gaze locking with Rodney's.

Rodney laughed again and wiggled his eyebrows. “Don't worry, Colonel. I told Radek that I wasn't your type. You know, since I'm not all glowly and half-ascended and such.”

John swallowed.

Focus, soldier, you've been offered an out, just make a joke now and let the moment pass.

Only John didn't take the out, instead his hand slid up to Rodney's neck. Rodney's eyes went wide, and then John was pulling him down into a kiss. Rodney's mouth was still and unresponsive and John had a moment of pure oh god, I have just fucked things up beyond all belief terror before Rodney sort of melted against him.

Then there were teeth and tongues and oh god, Rodney kissed just like he talked, his mouth moving fast and sweet against John's until they were both breathing hard. And sometime in the last three minutes Rodney had moved until he was straddling John, his thighs on either side of John's hips and sweet fucking Christ, his cock pressing against John's.

John's hands were sliding over Rodney's bare back and over his shoulders and down to cup his ass and pull him closer. John was thrusting up and Rodney was pressing down and it was messy and imperfect and so not what John had imagined. His shirt was twisted up around his chest and Rodney's belly was pressing against his and Rodney was moaning and saying things like, “Fuck,” and “move faster you idiot” and “moron, we could've been doing this for years.”

It was fabulous.

When John came in his pants for the first time in for-fucking-ever an embarrassingly short amount of time after that first kiss, Rodney rolled his eyes, muttered, “Typical,” and kept thrusting. John had to laugh when Rodney shuddered against him and came in his own pants about ten seconds later.

Yeah, he was thinking the whole platonic relationship thing was overrated.

He and Rodney, well, platonic...not so much.



( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 18th, 2007 11:00 pm (UTC)
Later, as he was heading back to his room alone with what felt like a permanent case of blue balls, John thought that spending a half hour guiding Rodney's hands through the motions of taking apart and reassembling his gun was not exactly conducive to this whole platonic relationship thing. Watching Rodney's nimble fingers glistening with oil slide along polished metal made him think of Rodney's fingers doing other things.

Non-platonic things.

Involving oil.

And John.

Hee! This is wonderful -- I love the way you've written John here, and the scene with Lorne at the shooting range is especially priceless. :-) (Also: "is that your elbow?" *g*)
Dec. 18th, 2007 11:09 pm (UTC)
Hee! I love Caveman!John!

What fun!
Dec. 18th, 2007 11:16 pm (UTC)
Yes! Way to stay platonic John. lol Good work!
Dec. 19th, 2007 12:31 am (UTC)
I loved it!!
Dec. 19th, 2007 12:37 am (UTC)
oh god, Rodney kissed just like he talked

That is so perfect..... and jealous!John is so much fun to tease, isn't he?

(Deleted comment)
Dec. 19th, 2007 02:20 am (UTC)
Hee! That's awesome. Love your Jealous!John (and all the times he gives himself away), and oblivious Rodney (with the hands and being all proud of his shooting prowess and getting a back massage from Ronon).

And the ending was just right, with Rodney snarking through the wonderful imperfect sex.

Dec. 19th, 2007 09:58 am (UTC)
Ha! The funniest bit was the elbow/knee conversation.
Dec. 19th, 2007 10:04 am (UTC)
Heh! I'm getting the impression that Rodney knew what was going on all along, and was employing his friends to help? Well, aside from the Carter thing.
Dec. 19th, 2007 07:48 pm (UTC)
Great fic! I so love jealous!John. *g*
Dec. 19th, 2007 09:20 pm (UTC)
Jealous!John is wonderful! I love the way he reads into innocuous things & decides that *everyone* must want Rodney (well, who wouldn't? *g*)
Great stuff!
Dec. 20th, 2007 05:48 pm (UTC)
This was adorable! I love the bit about Lorne, poor guy! Hee!
Dec. 20th, 2007 07:00 pm (UTC)

Dec. 23rd, 2007 06:49 pm (UTC)
Heh, I think my favorite part was with Lorne helping Rodney out with his "shooting." It's tough when you're CO cockblocks you. Heheh.
Dec. 24th, 2007 12:58 pm (UTC)
Heh. I like jealous John.
Dec. 25th, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC)
I love a jealous and pining John
Dec. 26th, 2007 11:07 pm (UTC)
*cackles* The elbow bit!!
Dec. 27th, 2007 03:21 am (UTC)
Wheeeeeeee. Thank you Santa. I adore this to pieces and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to feedback. I haven't had a chance to read any of the SGA Santa stories yet and that is just wrong. But I wanted to make sure and read the one written for me before I headed out of town. And boy am I glad I did. This hit all my kinks. It's funny and sweet and makes me grin like Rodney in my icon. I adore this John and I got all tingly thinking about John and Rodney and oil myself. MMmmmmmmmm And the ending....the ending was PERFECT. Sigh, I'm so glad they're "not so much"

Oh and the elbow. Bahahahaha. Oh John, you got it bad and that ain't good. (except of course, now it is.)

Again thank you for this lovely story.
Dec. 27th, 2007 06:16 pm (UTC)
hee! That was way too much fun to read.
Dec. 31st, 2007 11:56 pm (UTC)
YAYS! stupidlyjealous!John is the best ever.
Jan. 1st, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
This was great!!
Jan. 2nd, 2008 11:11 pm (UTC)
Like Sheppard, I was beginning to think that their platonic relationship wasn't that platonic at all... more kinds frustrated XD

I loved jealous John!
Dec. 19th, 2008 04:18 pm (UTC)
i've a thing for john jealous, it's so cute i think, bravo for share this story.
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )


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