Spoilers:Set post Harmony so spoilers for that episode.
Summary: "Sounds like McKay finally got his wish. He got kidnapped by the sexy aliens."
Author's notes: Thanks to my beta for being awesome and a very Merry Christmas to justbreathe80
The thing with almost dying on a semi-regular basis (John always added the "semi" because almost dying on a regular basis wasn't something he let himself think about) was that he had his own bed in the infirmary. Both Rodney and Ronon had cracked that Keller should just put a name plate above it with his name on it. (Well, technically Ronon had offered to carve it into the wall with his knife.) He didn't like the infirmary and he certainly didn't like the various incidents that found him in that bed, but the familiarity of the same bed made recovery just a bit easier. Of course, he'd be happier back in his own room with Rodney there bitching at him about getting hurt yet again.
Of course, Rodney would be making his nightly visit to John's bedside in the next hour or so, so it was almost the same thing. With one rather large exception. Rodney wouldn't be crawling into his bed, molding himself along John's body and whispering in his ear to stop scaring him like that. He was pretty sure that most everyone on Atlantis knew about him and Rodney and just didn't care (living in mortal danger tended to put things in unique perspective.) But they were still discreet. They didn't make out in the mess hall or slip into each other's bed when in the infirmary, as much as he really wished they would.
As if on cue, Rodney showed up. He looked like shit. He tried for a smile, but John could read the worry on his face behind the cheery facade. "Hey."
"Hey." John's voice sounded scratchy to himself.
Rodney waved his hand across John's body before slumping down in the chair next to him. "You look better."
John shrugged as best he could. "It's amazing what a few pints of blood can do for you."
Scooting his chair closer, Rodney stroked his thumb across the pulse point of John's wrist. "Not even funny."
No, John guessed it wasn't. While the bullet had gone through his side with minimal damage, he had lost a lot of blood. He wasn't the only one who got shot though. At least Rodney only took one from a stunner. For that he would be eternally grateful. "Still tingly?"
Rodney let his hand slide into John's, twinging their fingers together. It was as much as they let themselves get away with in the infirmary. "Not so much. I'm glad to be home. Even more glad you're going to be all right."
John tried to keep the conversation light, but he should have known better. "Aren't I always?"
Rodney looked stricken. "One day our luck's gonna run out."
Squeezing Rodney's hand, John smiled. "Yeah, but today wasn't that day."
Rodney pulled on his socks and boots and glared at John leaning against his door. "I can't believe you. You're sulking because you don't have to go deal with Harmony. If I'd known being her savior would mean being at her beck and call I would have..."
John finished the sentence for him. "You would have let her sister murder her? And I'm not sulking."
Rodney stood up and walked over to John, effectively pinning him against the door. "No, to the murdering. Yes, you are to the sulking."
"I don't sulk."
"Noooo, and I don't yell at my staff for being stupid."
Sometimes the best defense against Rodney was a good offense so John leaned in and kissed him just dirty enough to hold a promise for later when Rodney got back.
Nuzzling John's neck, Rodney asked against John's ear. "Are you still mad about the painting?"
For the love of God. "No, McKay. I was never mad about the painting."
Rodney poked John in his chest. "Yeah right, and you're not sulking."
John sighed. It wasn't an argument he was going to win, so he staged a strategic retreat. "How long do you think it will take?"
Rodney fell for the bait. "Radek ran the preliminary tests here, so basically it's just adding the upgrades to the prototype. So six hours max. Knowing me, less than that."
John casually asked what was really behind his concern. (He didn't sulk.) "And you're okay with taking Lorne with you instead of our team?"
Rodney stepped back and grabbed his mission jacket off of John's desk chair. "Would I prefer the three of you? Of course. But Teyla's finally got Kanaan back and deserves to spend time with him and Torren. And it's time for you to lean back and watch Ronon beat up all the new recruits. I wouldn't want you to miss that fun."
"I spar with them to, you know."
Rodney laughed. "Keep telling yourself that Colonel. And you were right--you don't sulk, you pout."
Reaching out, Rodney ran his thumb across John's bottom lip. "This lip doesn't lie John."
John wanted to be angry, but Rodney always wore him down. (And if that wasn't the case, Rodney's hands on him would have done the trick.) "You'll be careful?"
Rodney smiled and kissed him. "That's what this is about? Of course I'll be careful. I'm *me*, but what could possibly happen to me there?"
John should have known that Rodney had jinxed himself, had jinxed *them* with those words. He should have known, but it didn't make the distress call any easier to hear. Of course the sad fact was he was used to Rodney being kidnapped. (Or Teyla, or Ronon or even himself.) It was *their* thing apparently.
Ronon and Teyla were already with Lorne by the time John made it to the gateroom from the East Pier.
Lorne looked like he'd lost a sparring match with both Ronon and Teyla. But he met John's eyes as soon as he saw him. "I'm sorry sir, I was knocked out by some sort of energy weapon before I knew what hit me."
John wanted to blame Lorne but from the looks of it, the Major was already busy blaming himself. "Not your fault. Energy weapon? Wraith?"
Lorne shook his head. "No, more like Ronon's weapon than Wraith. If it's any consolation, I don't think she wants to harm him, just make him disable the energy shield that protects Harmony."
So they knew who took Rodney. That was a better start than normal. "She?"
Teyla helped Lorne to sit down on the gateroom stairs and explained what had happened to Rodney. "Harmony's older sister, Mardola. Harmony exiled her instead of throwing her in prison, but Mardola banded together a small army to try to overthrow her.
Ronon twirled his gun before stowing it into his holster and handed John his tac vest and a P-90. "Sounds like McKay finally got his wish. He got kidnapped by the sexy aliens. Let's go get him back."
Finding Rodney was the easy part. Mardola wasn't exactly a rocket scientist and had no clue about things like subcutaneous transmitters. But that didn't make her or her band of Genii merry men any less of a threat. They were armed and from the looks of it, Rodney had worked his magic on them. (Rodney magic being the code word for annoying the hell out of them so they were ready to shoot him no matter how important he was or what they needed him to do.) John would be the first to admit that Rodney was an acquired taste, but he took comfort in the fact that even when kidnapped, Rodney never stopped being Rodney.
He should have planned it better, but something about watching Rodney go down to a stunner blast unleashed something primeval in John. He was rushing to Rodney's side even though it went against protocol and basic engagement tactics. But Ronon and Teyla covered him almost like they expected it. (Come to think of it, they probably did. John was rather Pavlovian when it came to his team, especially Rodney.)
John dragged Rodney behind a well for cover while Ronon and Teyla continued to kick the asses of all the bad guys. Rodney came to after a few minutes.
"Am I dead?" Rodney asked as he sat up.
John brushed the leaves out of Rodney's hair. "Not today McKay. Not on my watch."
"Stunner then. Why do they always stun me?"
In any other situation, John would have laughed at the incredulous look on Rodney's face, but this wasn't the time or the place. "Stay quiet. Let us finish up here and get you home."
It was over almost before it began or so John thought. They had rounded up all the Genii and Ronon had cornered Mardola. Rodney stood up and brushed himself off. It was then that Mardola pulled a gun from inside her dress. (And really who would have thought Renaissance looking dresses came with pockets.) She aimed and fired at Rodney before Ronon could stop her.
John shoved Rodney back to the ground before he felt the bullet rip through the side of his tac vest. Not his best move really. He heard Mardola scream and hit the ground. (He was pretty sure Ronon hadn't set his weapon to stun and John was remarkably all right with that.)Then Rodney was on his knees at his side, his hands putting pressure on the wound as Teyla got out a pressure bandage.
"You're gonna be okay, you're gonna to be okay," Rodney said over and over again. And as John faded in and out, he wondered if Rodney was saying it to him or to himself.
John watched in fascination as Rodney toed off his shoes before standing up and pulling his shirt out of his pants. He pushed the chair back and walked to the other side of John's bed. "Ahhh, Rodney. What are you doing?"
Rodney gave him his patented, 'are you stupid?' look. "I'm getting into bed with you."
John was torn. He really wanted it. It was what he had wished for, but it could only end badly. "This is the infirmary."
Rodney sat down on the edge of John's bed and carefully spread out against John's good side. "Yes, I know. But you want it and I need it."
John couldn't argue with that, but he had to. "You're right I want it, but we both know it's not a good idea."
"To hell with bad ideas. I got kidnapped, you got shot. We deserve it."
Why did Rodney have to make everything so damn hard. "We can't."
Rodney slid his hand up under John's scrub shirt, his palm directly over John's heart. "Yes, we can. I'm not stupid or reckless, unlike someone in this room. Ronon's standing guard at the door. No one will be getting in here anytime soon."
"Really?" Maybe John could have this after all. "Why now?" John asked. What was different this time he wondered?
Rodney hmphed. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you stepped in front of a bullet for me."
"I'd do again."
Rodney kissed John's shoulder. "Yes, I know. And you'd do it for any one of us which makes me want to strangle you and kiss you at the same time."
"After the last few days, I vote for door number two."
"Yes, well seeing you saved my life and all..." Rodney didn't finish his sentence as his lips brushed against John's. It was a kiss of thanksgiving and comfort and it warmed John from the inside out.
They settled into a familiar position, Rodney's head cushioned against John's shoulder, his breath warm against John's neck. They stayed silent for a long time, happy to be together after yet another near miss. But John knew it was coming.
"You've got to stop doing that John," Rodney said against the shell of John's ear, more quiet than anyone would ever believe that Rodney could be.
John smiled. Rodney's hand was still underneath John's shirt, his fingers splayed over John's heart, and John covered it with his own. "I will when you stop getting kidnapped."
It was Rodney's turn to shrug. "Yes, well. All and all, kidnapping by psychotic sisters hellbent on revenge isn't much better than getting kidnapped by the Wraith regardless of the better hair and personal hygiene."
John smiled. "I told you it wasn't all that it was cracked up to be."
"If anyone would know."
John was fading fast. Having Rodney beside him always made him relax even when he didn't realize he was tense. It might be sappy, (he could always blame it on the drugs) but knowing Rodney was safe was the best medicine he could think of. "How long can you stay?"
Rodney kissed his temple. "Until you're asleep. Keller says you can go back to your room day after tomorrow as long as you promise to take an easy."
John yawned. "With you, Ronon and Teyla babysitting me, I don't think that will be a problem."
"Well you do have the best team in two galaxies."
"That I do."
Rodney moves his hand up under John's shirt to stroke his thumb across the dip of John's collarbone. "Sleep John. I've got you."
John's last thought before he slipped under was he couldn't wish for anything more.