Contains: Humiliation, D/s, very mild bondage
Disclaimer: Neither the characters nor their world are mine.
Author's Notes: psychicvanity said, "I've always wanted a McShep kink fic written just for me." Well, psychicvanity, this one's just for you. Happy Holidays! (Beta thanks to be added after the reveal.)
Summary: When John finally gets around to asking for a particular kink, things don't go the way Rodney initially expected them to.
"The thing is..." John had said.
And then, a couple days later: "It's weird."
A day or two after that, he rubbed the back of his neck. "It's not like I really think that...well, you know."
"No," Rodney said, trying to keep his voice level. After all, he knew how hard it was for John to talk about important things, and really, Rodney felt he'd been pretty damn patient. "As a matter of fact, I don't know."
John ducked his head and Rodney stared at him. Were John's ears red?
"However, I take it from your behavior that we've been discussing, or more like not discussing, some kind of kink?" Or they were talking about feelings, but for all his verbal skills, Rodney wasn't much better at that than John was, so kink it was.
Rodney waited, but John stared at the floor.
"You want to go another week not telling me what you're interested in? Because the sex has been pretty outstanding, but if there's something you want that we're not doing...." Rodney spread his hands. "It could be even better. You'll find I'm a pretty open-minded guy."
That was putting it mildly, but now didn't seem like the time to go into his whole complicated sexual history. Trying to explain how he'd had two different tops and a weird relationship with a switch, not to mention all the kinky one night stands...just no. And anyway, John was probably about to ask for something incredibly bland like handcuffs or blindfolds.
"How do you feel," John began, and Rodney practically held his breath, hoping to get a complete sentence out of him. "About humiliation?"
Of course, Rodney thought with a mental sigh. Because I'm mouthy and an asshole, everyone thinks I'll be happy to call them....
"I won't...I don't call people stupid," John added quickly. "Well, unless it's a major turn on."
"Wait wait wait," Rodney said holding up a hand. "You want to humiliate me?"
"Never mind," John said quickly.
"No, it's okay. It's just that, to be honest, people tend to want me to do that kind of thing to them. And...well, I hate to be skeptical but...." Rodney let his voice trail off, not wanting to point out that John wasn't exactly the most articulate guy around.
"Rodney? It's different when it's sex."
"What, you mean you can string more than six words together about something other than football or flying?"
John tilted his head and something indefinable about his posture changed. Rodney couldn't quite put his finger on it, but for some reason, he was suddenly aware that John still had his gun, in its holster, strapped to his thigh.
Rodney swallowed hard.
"So," John said, his voice a little lower. "Just how open-minded are you?"
"Um," Rodney took a deep breath. "This menacing thing you're doing right now? With the posture and the, you know, sexy voice? That's really working for me. And trust me, I can take plenty of humiliation."
"Yeah, but do you like it?" John rested his hand on the butt of his gun.
How am I supposed to negotiate when all I want to do is go down on my knees?
Okay then, Rodney thought when the lighting in the room suddenly changed, leaving John standing in a pool of light and Rodney, as well as the rest of the room, in darkness. So much for negotiating.
John, of course, proved him wrong again. "Rodney," he said softly. "Are 'red' and 'yellow' okay?"
"Yes. And also, I'm still me and I still don't like pain."
"Really?" John chuckled just a little. "So, you'll probably do just about anything to avoid it, right?"
"I...um...." And now he knew damn well they'd moved on from the negotiations and into the scene. Normally, Rodney demanded at least an abbreviated version of the standard checklist, but this was John. If Rodney said "red," John would stop, and if he said "yellow," John would slow down and check in.
Rodney had never, he realized, done this with anyone he trusted as much as he trusted John.
"I know what you need," John said. "You can stand there and pretend all you want, but we both know you belong on your knees."
"In front of you?" Rodney asked, lacing his voice with as much scorn as he could muster.
John laughed, a hard bark of amusement. "In front of me. Or maybe Teyla. Or Ronon. I know you'd crawl a mile across broken glass just to jerk off in Carter's shadow. Hell, I bet you'd go down for half the people here on Atlantis."
"As if." Rodney raised his chin, wondering if John could see him.
"Are you trying to tell me you're not a cocksucking whore? Remember, I've felt your mouth on me."
Rodney bit his lip; John sounded so very matter of fact about it. "Well, that's not likely to happen again any time soon."
"Now see," John said, dropping his hands to his belt buckle. "That's where you're wrong." He started unbuckling his belt. "I could," he continued, "pull this off and threaten you with it. Beat that tight ass of yours until it was red."
"And I could safeword."
Something clicked behind Rodney. He hardly ever locked his door, so it took him a minute to identify the sound. "And I could ignore your safeword."
It was all bullshit, all part of the scene, and yet Rodney felt his heart start beating just a little faster.
"But we both know I don't need to do that, do I?" John paused and ran a hand down the front of his BDUs, as if Rodney had somehow missed the bulge there. "You want this; you know you do. I swear, some days I think I should just chain you to the bed and visit you a couple times a day so you can suck me off. I bet you'd love that."
"No, I wouldn't." And of course he really wouldn't, but then again, as fantasies went.... Rodney swallowed hard.
"Really?" John kept his hand where it was and moved his hips forward. "Okay, then."
Before Rodney could even blink, John had pulled off his belt and was moving forward. Rodney's heart beat a little fast; maybe he was wrong to trust John. He opened his mouth, but then waited. He'd let let one of his girlfriends smack him a few times with a paddle because he figured that, since she liked it so much, he should see what all the fuss was about. It had hurt, but not that much, and so yeah, maybe if John was really really into it, he could manage it for him, but then again he'd said....
"Fooled you," John murmured, sliding around behind Rodney. Rodney felt the smooth leather of the belt around his wrists and he turned to look at John over his shoulder, only to find that John had hooked Rodney's desk chair with one foot and was rolling it over, keeping a hand on Rodney's wrists all the while.
"Sit," John said, tugging down.
Curious, Rodney sat down. He wasn't all that surprised when John tied the other end of the belt to the chair, but he had no idea where John was going with this. Rodney was hardly in the right position to blow John, unless John maybe sat on the desk and pushed Rodney's face into his lap.
Rodney licked his lips.
"Sorry," John said, patting his shoulder. "Too late." He stepped back and into the pool of light and leaned against the wall, his hands down at his waistband again. This time, he undid his pants and pushed them and his boxers out of the way, letting the weight of his holster pull everything down around his thighs. He should have looked ridiculous, but Rodney had seen expensive strippers who were considerably less hot than John was right now.
John made a big production number of licking his hand before he brought it down and gave his cock a lazy stroke. John had a gorgeous cock, and while it was both long and thick, because he was cut there was something almost sleek about it. Rodney loved sucking it, and for a moment, he thought about just giving in and begging. But no, he wasn't that easy, particularly in a first scene like this.
"You should see the look on your face. I don't know how the hell you manage it."
"Manage what?" Rodney leaned back in his chair and tried his best to look disinterested.
"How do you make it through the day without finding me and begging for it?" John gave his cock another nice long stroke. "I like giving head well enough, but you...you fucking love it, don't you? You're such a slut for it...I bet I could put a cock ring on and you'd suck it for hours. Your jaw would hurt and your knees would ache but you'd just stay there, even let me fuck your face. You'd be hoarse the next day and say it was a cold, but I'd know and you'd know and every time you said something and your throat burned, you'd remember my dick hitting the back of your throat over and over."
"Fuck," Rodney muttered, his own cock rock hard. Who knew John could be this articulate? It was incredibly hot, and watching John jerk off made it worse. Rodney bit his lip hard.
"Oh yeah...you know you want it. You know you're a fucking whore for it, so why don't you just say so? All you have to do is ask." He rubbed his thumb over the head and then brought it up to his mouth.
"What was that? Did you just say, 'please let me suck your dick?'" John paused, and when Rodney remained silent, his hand started moving faster. "You're gonna run out of time here soon. And if I come without your help, it'll be days before you get off."
Rodney stared at him. "Are you suggesting...." It wasn't like he hadn't had the occasional fantasy about John as his dom, but he'd been so sure that John was vanilla.
"Oh, for fuck's sake, Rodney, we both know you want to be my bitch."
For all that John sounded sure of himself and even a little cruel, Rodney saw something--a flicker of uncertainty, maybe--on his face that was oddly reassuring. It was enough.
"Please," he said, his own voice a little shaky. "Let me...."
"I dunno," John said. "That sounds like a demand to me."
"No, it's really not," Rodney said, and yes, fine, he really was desperate. "Please...please let me suck your dick. Please let me get you off." He twisted his wrists in the belt and then almost fell over when the belt came free of the chair. His hands were still bound together, but he wasn't stuck to the chair any more.
Sliding to his knees felt better than he'd expected; it felt right in a way it never had with anyone else. Staring at John's cock, he licked his lips. "Please?"
"Oh yeah, I knew you wanted it." John smiled slowly. "Come on, then, what are you waiting for?" Then, as Rodney tried to get to his feet, "Did I tell you to stand up?"
Rodney's face went hot. Crawling was one thing--he could make that look halfway decent--but with his hands behind his back, the best he'd be able to manage was....
"Do it!" John snapped, and Rodney grit his teeth and shuffled forward on his knees, well aware that he probably looked ridiculous. "That's right," John said. "Show me how much you want it. Show me what a greedy cocksucker you are." He crossed his arms and watched Rodney. "Maybe next time I'll let you crawl. Or maybe I'll tie you to the bed and fuck your mouth that way."
"Oh, fuck," Rodney murmured, a little gone on the image.
Finally, he reached John. He wanted to look up at him, to make sure John wasn't laughing at him, but he couldn't. In fact, all he could do was stare at John's cock.
Reaching down, John rested a hand on Rodney's head, holding him still. "Oh, no. You have to beg for it, Rodney."
"Please," Rodney said, and it was so easy now he'd given in. "Please let me suck your cock. I'll make it good, I promise. Please...I'll give you the best...."
John's hand tightened--Rodney could feel his fingers digging into his scalp. "From now on you damn well better give me the best." He tilted Rodney's head back until Rodney had to look up at him. "Do you understand?"
"Yes, John," John said firmly. "In here, you call me John."
"Yes, John," Rodney said, and it felt good, having rules again. He hadn't had a dom in years and only now did he realize how much he'd missed it.
"Good," John said. "Now, open your mouth." Rodney obeyed, but the pressure of John's hand on his head kept him from leaning forward. "God, you want it so bad, don't you?"
Rodney almost said something, but no, John had told him to keep his mouth open. He nodded instead.
"Very good," John murmured, sliding his fingers around to the back . "Go on then...give it your best."
Over the past few months, Rodney had learned what John liked, and now he pulled out all the stops, sucking hard as he slid his mouth down the shaft of John's cock. He pulled back and went down again and then again, using his tongue when he could.
"Right there," John said. "Your tongue...harder...yeah, that's good." He sounded just a little breathless and Rodney hummed a little as he licked the soft skin just under the head. His jaw was getting a little sore and his knees hurt, but John was starting to make quiet noises now and rocking his hips, and yes, John had been right--Rodney would do this for hours if he could.
It wasn't hours, but Rodney had begun to lose track of time as John's dick moved in and out of his mouth. John was getting rougher now and Rodney almost lost it when John started muttering "yeah...fucking take it...you're my whore...such a good cocksucker...."
And then, suddenly, John pulled back to lean against the wall. He was panting and his dick was slick and dark and Rodney moaned a little and tried to get his mouth on it again. "Please," he muttered. "Please...want to make you come...."
"No," John said, taking a deep breath. "See...you tried to hold out on me."
"I'm sorry," Rodney began, but John shook his head. "Please, John, just tell me what you want. I'll do anything...."
"I expect that," John said. He reached down and cupped Rodney's chin, tracing his thumb over Rodney's wet lips. Rodney opened his mouth and sucked on John's thumb, looking up at John hopefully.
"Nice try," John said, pulling his hand back. "Next time I tell you to beg, you beg."
"Yes, John." Rodney was going to say more, but John kept talking.
"For now, just stay there." John's hand was on his cock again and this wasn't the slow, showy jerking off he'd done earlier. He clearly wanted to come as soon as possible and Rodney suddenly realized what was going to happen when John did come.
"You're right," he said. "I'm a cocksucking slut...a whore for it. I promise, John, next time I'll beg...crawl across the floor...do whatever you want."
"Damn right," John said roughly.
"Please, John," Rodney said, tilting his face up and closing his eyes. "Please, please, please come on me!" He heard John's breath hitch the way it always did just before he came and then felt the first pulses on his face. Opening his mouth, he caught a few jets on his tongue and let some of it spill back out of his mouth.
"Jesus fucking Christ," John muttered, sounding almost as wrecked as Rodney felt. Then John was wiping off Rodney's eyes, and when Rodney could finally open them, he saw that John was crouched down so they were face to face. "You're so good," John said and then kissed Rodney, licking at his mouth while Rodney moaned. "In fact, you've been good enough that I'm going to let you come."
He stood and did up his pants before looking down at Rodney thoughtfully. "And," he added, "I know just how it's going to happen...."
Rodney wasn't all that surprised when John nudged his knees apart with one foot and then shoved that foot, boot and all, hard between Rodney's legs. Rodney groaned and tried not to rub up against John's leg before John told him to.
"You know what I want, don't you?" John said with a smirk. "Go ahead, do it."
It wasn't easy with his hands tied behind his back, and when Rodney thought about what he looked like, humping John's leg with come on his face and shirt, he felt his face go hot and red. And God help him, but that curl of embarrassment down deep in his belly, something he hated out there in the real world, felt so damn good now.
He was so into it, so deep in headspace, that it was easy to stop and lean his face against John's hip. "Need," he gasped out. "Need you to tell me...."
"Fuck," John murmured. "Go on, then," he said, his voice firmer. "Do it, Rodney. Come all over my leg like the bitch you are."
"Yours," Rodney groaned as he came hard enough that he almost passed out. It went on and on and knowing that he was coming in his pants up against John's leg because John had called him a bitch made it even better.
"Yeah," John said, reaching down to rest a hand on the back of Rodney's neck. "Mine."
They stayed like that for a long moment, and then John gave Rodney's neck a light squeeze. "C'mon," he said, sliding his hand down over Rodney's shoulder to his bicep. "Bath time."
John got Rodney up on his feet, untied his hands, stripped him down and had joined him in the tub before Rodney slowly started to climb out of headspace. Leaning back against the side of the tub, Rodney eyed John curiously.
"So," he said.
Rodney couldn't help it; he laughed and shook his head. "You were doing so well."
"That's the easy part," John said. "It's even easier when I know the other guy is getting off, too."
"Somehow I'm thinking that wasn't all for me."
"Oh, trust me, it wasn't." John grinned at him. "Although I wish I'd known you were this kinky earlier."
"Same here." Rodney waited, but John remained silent. "So, what now? How serious are you about that whole 'mine' thing?"
"I could be pretty serious if you're interested."
"I just came all over your leg because you called me a bitch," Rodney said with a snort. "I'd say that's pretty serious."
"Not to everyone," John said, looking off into the distance.
"Earlier," Rodney said. "When we were first talking about it? I was thinking that I've never gone into a scene without a hell of a lot more negotiating."
"Yeah. I'm trying to tell you that I trust you."
"Why am I hearing a 'you idiot' tacked on to that?" In spite of his words, John was smiling.
"You never said anything about 24/7, so I reserve the right to be myself now and then."
"Are you kidding? 24/7 is way too much work, not to mention that our jobs don't exactly allow for it." John chuckled. "And I kind of doubt you want to be a full time sub."
"Not really, no." Rodney took a deep breath. "But I do want to be your sub, if you'll have me."
"Are you kidding?" John slid over and rested a hand on the back of Rodney's neck again. "I'm gonna have you and then have you again and again and again."
"Oh good," Rodney said, leaning back into John's touch. "You know, that thing you talked about? Involving a cock ring and me sucking you off for hours?"
"I just happen to have a cock ring...."