Pairing: Evan Lorne/Jonas Quinn
Rating: PG13 for coarse language and very creative Langaran swearing
Disclaimer: Vague spoilers for season ten of SG1 and season five of SGA.
Author's Notes: With much thanks to taste_is_sweet for excellence in beta-ing.
Summary: Major Evan Lorne doesn't quite manage to rescue Jonas Quinn
( Some Rescue - Part 1 of 2 )
Jonas wasn't doing well.
"You need to get warm." Evan said, because he could feel Jonas shivering between his coughing fits. Groaning with effort, Evan moved his legs far enough apart so Jonas could slide in between them and lean against his chest. "Come here."
"No, I'm fine," Jonas had said, and then coughed. "Your leg."
"You need to get warm," Evan repeated. "Now." He tugged on Jonas' leg with his good hand as the angle was wrong for him to reach anywhere else.
"Okay." Jonas turned the flashlight back on. Evan winced in the sudden light. "Sorry," Jonas said. "But I don't want to hit your knee by accident." And then carefully, he slid his body over Evan's leg to settle stiffly against his chest.
"Lean your head back," Evan said. Jonas' hair was poking against the skin of his face, which felt uncomfortable against the small cuts left there from the shrapnel of the courtyard. Jonas' hair was as unclean as the rest of him, and it was hard and stiff from dirt.
"I'll hurt you," Jonas muttered, but then sagged against him, as if staying upright was too much effort. His head came to rest on Evan's right shoulder with his forehead against Evan's neck. "I wish we still had those blankets." He sighed.
"They're somewhere in here," Evan said. "Along with my stuff."
"Your jacket had a huge hole in the arm," Jonas said. "But I'm sorry I lost your radio."
"It's okay," Evan said. "My team'll find me anyway." He remembered how useless the Lifesigns detector had been when they'd been searching for Jonas, and how relatively far he now was from the courtyard where Blair and Laura had seen him last. He had no idea if his sub-dermal transmitter would work there, either. "They'll find us," he said again, hoping it was true.
"I'm sorry you're going to die here," Jonas said quietly as if Evan hadn't spoken. "You came to rescue me, and you're going to die instead. I'm so sorry."
Some rescue, Evan thought again. "We're not going to die," he said forcefully.
"The Andari Federation has been trying to kill me since the day the Ori were defeated," Jonas said with a short laugh. "Looks like they've finally succeeded." He coughed and Evan could feel flecks of blood hitting against his neck above his collar.
"Who?" Evan asked, more to keep Jonas talking than out of real interest.
"Neighbouring country to the North," Jonas replied, his breath puffing against Evan's skin. "They converted to Origin. Same with Terrania. We were the only ones that held out."
That explains the state of the city, Evan thought. "Good for you."
Jonas huffed a laugh that dotted Evan's neck with blood. "Not really."
"Of course it was!" Evan said. "You didn't give in."
"They killed all my people, Evan." Jonas said. "Kelowna was the only country that resisted, and the only one that got hit with the plague and the only one that was bombed to smithereens. Hundreds of thousands of my people died, and the rest are refugees, homeless and destitute."
"But they died free," Evan said.
"No. They died because I told them to," Jonas said. He shifted against Evan as if he was trying to sit up, but then collapsed back, coughing. "Shit. That really hurts."
"Don't move," Evan said, wrapping his good arm around Jonas to try to keep him still. His left arm was throbbing in pain with the kind of hot tenderness that signalled the start of an infection. He could still feel blood oozing it's way thickly down his arm, thankfully less than before, but still enough to be concerning.
"I was their Prime Minister," Jonas continued. "High leader of Kelowna. Did you know that?"
"No," Evan replied honestly. The mission reports he'd read on Jonas Quinn had stated he was Kelowna's representative on the Joint Ruling Council, but not that he'd ascended to that level of government. "That's really impressive."
"Not when you get the title because everyone else is dead," Jonas said. "I was voted in during an emergency referendum just after the Ori had arrived and killed our Prime Minister and her Deputy. Did you know she had three children?"
"No," Evan said again. He didn't like the direction the conversation was taking. "But it wasn't your fault--"
"I told them to resist the Ori," Jonas said as if Evan hadn't spoken. "I told them to arm themselves and fight for the freedom of Langara. And they did." His voice cracked on the next words. "And while the Andaris and the Terrians bowed their heads in supplication and went on with their lives, my people fought and died. And it's all my fault."
"No it wasn't," Evan said vehemently.
"Yes, it is," Jonas replied with quiet certainty. "I thought it was the right thing to do. To fight for our religious and intellectual freedom. To fight for the Kelownan way of life."
"But that was the right thing to do!" Evan said, feeling something twist in his gut. "You can't think otherwise."
"They're all dead," Jonas said. "The plague hit first. I survived because of my time with Nirrti. Kianna lived because she used to be a host for a Goa'uld. I have no idea how Jos or Hugh or Aundra or any of the others lived. But in a matter of weeks my vast army was whittled down to less than 50 people." Evan felt Jonas shudder with the memory. "And then they started the bombing."
"Jesus," Evan whispered, thinking of San Francisco and what it would have been like to be there, watching everyone drop dead from an epidemic, and then have to witness the destruction of the city itself.
"It was like they were trying to wipe out every trace of us," Jonas said. "And I kept praying that you guys would come. But you never did."
Jonas' soft words hit Evan like a punch to the gut. He knew that the SGC had been completely tapped out trying to stop the Ori, and that it had taken nearly a year to find a weapon that would work against them, and then more time to track down the only weapon that could destroy them once and for all. He completely understood why no one had come to help Jonas' people. But it was far too easy to think about how Jonas had felt, watching his people die.
Evan swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry."
He felt Jonas shrug. "It's okay," he said, and Evan could feel his ghost of a smile. "I actually thought you were all dead. That Earth had been the first planet they had destroyed. I'm glad to know you're all right."
"You thought you were all alone in your fight," Evan said.
"Yeah," Jonas agreed. "And then that light came! And all the Priors just--stopped, and I knew it was from Earth and that you were all okay."
"Why didn't you contact us?" Evan asked. "Maybe we could've helped."
Jonas laughed. "I tried."
Evan felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. "What happened?"
"The Andari Federation tried to kill me--for the first time," Jonas said. "They were waiting by the Gate, and when I showed up with the remnants of my resistance army they opened fire. Aundra was killed then. So was Myrn. They'd survived two years of Ori attacks just to be killed when it ended. Such a waste."
"I'm sorry," Evan said again, wishing the words didn't sound quite so useless.
"They want our naquadria," Jonas said. "And they think I'm powerful enough to stop them. They think I'll cause an uprising among the Kelownan refugees." He laughed again; then coughed violently, doubling over from the effort. His hand landed heavily on Evan's knee as he tried to support himself. Evan cried out in pain.
"Sorry!" Jonas gasped. "I'm sorry--" But then he was coughing again, and Evan put his good arm around him, trying to help hold him up. Finally Jonas stopped and sagged against him, his breathing harsh and ragged. "It really hurts," Jonas whimpered.
"I'm okay with dying," Jonas continued after his ragged breathing had calmed a little. "I'm sorry you're going to die here, but I'm okay with it."
"You're not going to die!" Evan said harshly, his chest constricting in fear. He barely knew this man, but already he was in awe of Jonas' courage in the face of so many years of hardship and heartbreak. Evan knew he was tough, but he wasn't sure that he'd have been able to carry on after such tremendous loss. He really didn't want him to die.
"I'm just glad that Jos and Kianna are going to survive," Jonas said. "They'll be happy at the SGC." He paused. "They will be happy at the SGC, won't they?"
"Yes. Absolutely," Evan said with more conviction than he felt. But he vowed to himself that if he made it back he would ensure that Jos and Kianna were treated well, no matter what it took.
"That's what I thought," Jonas said. "Evan?" His voice was thin.
"Don't talk," Evan said. "Help will be here soon."
"You're a really nice guy, Evan," Jonas' voice was barely a whisper. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault!" Evan said forcefully. "None of this is your fault!"
But Jonas didn't reply.
"Jonas!" Evan said. "Jonas!" But the other man was heavy and silent against him.
Evan tilted his head back as despair washed over him. He hadn't felt this helpless since he and his team had been held captive on M1K-177 by the Genii. Only none of his team had actually died.
He wasn't sure when he'd started to think of Jonas as a member of his team. Maybe it'd been when Jonas had insisted on staying behind with him instead of getting to the safety of the Gate. Or maybe it had been even earlier, when Jonas had rescued him from the Andari soldiers. But at some point, he'd made the switch from thinking of Jonas Quinn as a stranger to thinking of him as a friend.
He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, allowing himself the luxury of feeling the anguish of Jonas' death. Jonas had blamed himself for Evan's predicament, but Jonas' actions were the only reason why Evan was still alive and Jonas wasn't.
And he'd be damned if Jonas' sacrifice was going to go to waste.
Evan shifted and winced with the effort, trying to move Jonas' body off him so he could figure out a way to stand.
He heard a sound.
Evan froze, all his senses straining against the dark as he listened for the tell-tale crunch of boots on broken stone.
He heard it again.
Someone was making their way through the slabs of fallen concrete towards his position, with the slow and steady pace of a hunter seeking its prey.
With an instinct honed from over a decade in the military, Evan knew it wasn't a friendly who was going to poke his head over the wall at any second.
As silently as possible, Evan shifted back to his original position, pulling Jonas' limp form as high up his body as he could. Evan slouched, letting Jonas' head sag against his face in a way that Evan hoped would obscure his features from anyone who was coming.
And then he reached down and grabbed Jonas' side-arm, pulling it free from its holster one slow inch at a time. With agonizing care, he took the safety off and cocked the weapon, its short click sounding terribly loud in the near silence.
"Sorry Jonas," he whispered, and moved the weapon between himself and Jonas' back. It would feel hard and uncomfortable if Jonas were alive.
And then, Evan waited.
"I'm sure they're dead."
Evan tensed at the words, making himself breathe slower as he waited for the owner of the voice to make his appearance.
"Quinn is a slippery son-of-a-diseased-sow," the voice's companion said. "I won't believe he's dead until I see it with my own eyes."
The first voice laughed. "No one could survive this! The building looks like the Gods chewed it up and spat it out."
"Those soldiers of Origin sure do have good weapons," the second voice responded.
There was the sound of a smirk. "All hail the Ori."
And then there was a light shining over the wall in front of him, bright enough to force Evan to squint his eyes.
"Well, would you look at this." the owner of the first voice said. "Two bagged for the price of one."
"Isn't that a touching scene?" The second voice responded. "They're all cuddled together. Like little chicks." For some reason, this comment provoked gales of laughter from both the soldiers.
"Do you think that's Jos Mar behind him?" The first soldier said. The light bobbed and weaved as he apparently climbed over the wall in front of Evan. Evan tensed, waiting.
"Who knows?" The second soldier said. "And who cares? The only one who matters is Quinn. He's the one they'd all follow to their deaths."
"Yeah, Quinn's death is going to make things a whole lot easier." The first soldier agreed, huffing a bit as he made the climb.
"And us a whole lot richer!" The second soldier crowed. "We're the ones who killed the pig-fucker. We'll be heroes!" There was the sound of boots dropping onto concrete.
The light stopped moving and stilled on Jonas' face. Evan peered at the soldier through slitted eyes. He could barely make out the silhouette of the Andarian through the glare of the light, but it was enough.
"Hurry up," the first soldier called to his companion. "The quicker we get these bodies out of here, the quicker we can go back to bed."
There were more sounds of boots hitting the floor as the second soldier cleared the wall.
"Gods," he said. It's going to be tough to move them."
"We should probably blast down this wall." The first soldier said, and he turned his body to indicate the slab of concrete he had just climbed over. It caused the light to move off of Evan's face, and gave him the opening he needed.
Evan raised the gun and fired. His first shot hit the solider in his face and sent him falling backwards to land heavily against the wall behind him. Evan fired again and the second solider was dead before he even had a chance to raise his weapon. Blood arched from his throat like a dark rainbow in the harsh light of their lamp.
Evan stayed with the gun raised and adrenaline coursing through his system. There were no other sounds except the labour of his breathing and the pounding of his heart in his chest.
Still, he waited.
The soldier's light was still on. Its beam illuminated the legs of one of the dead soldiers and the wall beyond, giving enough light so that Evan could actually see around him.
He waited for countless minutes more, expecting a whole platoon of soldiers to appear over the wall, drawn there by the sound of gunfire and the disappearance of two of their men. But nothing happened.
Slowly, Evan felt his heart rate return to normal and his breathing ease. He brought the gun down to his side and let his head fall back. The adrenaline rush had faded and all the discomfort of his situation roared in to its wake. He was suddenly freezing and exhausted, and his wounds were screaming. He started shaking from a combination of the cold and his injuries; only this time there was no Jonas offering him blankets and tea to take the edge off his misery.
He shifted under Jonas' body, managing to slide Jonas' head back to its position against his neck, but he knew he couldn't do anything more.
We found him in the morning, Evan remembered Jonas saying, staring up at nothing with big, empty eyes. And with a sickening realization, Evan knew that would be how Blair and Laura would find him. Frozen to death before morning. His eyes open and staring.
Some rescue, Evan thought to himself. He closed his eyes.
Evan's eyes flew open. "Jonas?"
"I feel like shit," Jonas mumbled. He leaned forward and Evan could see him put his head in his hands. "My chest hurts."
"Jonas!" Evan repeated; a crazy mixture of joy and relief making him feel dizzy.
"I think I got hit on the head pretty hard," Jonas said. He sat up and shifted so that he could look at Evan, hissing in pain as he moved. "Did I fall asleep?"
"I thought you were dead," Evan said, his injuries forgotten. He knew he was probably smiling like an idiot but he couldn't bring himself to care.
"I'm sorry," Jonas said. "I wouldn't die on you, Evan." His expression was almost comical in its sincerity. He looked behind him and seemed to notice the bodies of the soldiers. "Did you do that?"
"Yeah," Evan replied. "It was kind of an 'us-against-them' scenario. I used your gun."
"Nice shooting!" Jonas smiled that devastating smile of his that made Evan's chest tighten. But then Jonas frowned. "They'll be more coming soon." He coughed, and once again flecks of blood sprayed against his palm. "Gods, that hurts."
Evan frowned. "Can you walk?"
Jonas was already heaving himself to his feet. "I can if you can." He stood for a moment, one hand on the wall behind Evan, clearly catching his breath. He held out his other hand. "Here."
Evan grasped Jonas' outstretched hand and let the other man haul him to his feet. The change of position after so many hours made Evan dizzy, and he stood on his left leg, weaving slightly until the world stopped spinning.
"Great," he said after a moment. "So we're standing. But I don't think either one of us can get over these walls."
"We don't have to," Jonas said. He crouched down slowly, clearly favouring his injured side and picked up the lamp dropped by the soldiers of the Andari Federation. "We can just go out that way." He stood and pointed the beam towards where a section of the wall had collapsed, leading out to a gentle slope that would bring them up to street level.
"I'll be damned," Evan breathed. The way out had been there all along.
Jonas dropped the lamp, slipped Evan's good arm over his shoulder and gripped him around the waist. Evan couldn't help wish it were under different circumstances.
He had a flash of memory of Jonas kissing Jos with abandon, and he sighed. At least they'll be reunited on Earth, Evan thought, and was proud of how noble he was being.
"We should go," Jonas panted. "It will be morning soon."
"Yeah," Evan said. And they started out together.
The sky was beginning to lighten before they had gotten half-way to the Gate.
Evan's body ached, and his left arm was so sore that he could only hold it against his chest. The jarring rhythm of his gait caused every step to be its own kind of agony. He knew an infection had set in. The skin around his wound was hot and tight and even the touch of his sleeve was almost too much to bear. His right knee wasn't much better. He could barely rest his toe on the ground without causing pain to shoot from his knee all the way up his spine. Twice he'd nearly fallen and it had hurt so much that he'd been left gasping and shaking from the effort to not just collapse.
But as bad off as he was, he feared that Jonas was much worse.
Jonas was having trouble breathing. He was coughing with nearly every step, and blood had coated his lips and was trickling freely down his chin. He looked like he had killed an animal by ripping its head off with his teeth. It was also obvious that he was in terrible pain, and every step he took supporting Evan's weight was just making it worse.
And of course there was also his concussion, which Evan didn't even want to think about.
"We have to stop," Evan wheezed. "You need a rest."
"No," Jonas said. He coughed. "If I stop I won't be able to get up again."
"You're going to drop dead," Evan said. "That'll be worse."
"I won't die on you, Evan," Jonas said. The same line he'd said before. But then he coughed again, and it was so violent that he let go of Evan's waist, causing Evan to lose his balance and he barely managed to control his fall before he landed heavily on the ground. Evan swore violently as the movement made his arm and knee both shriek in pain.
"Sorry!" Jonas said, and then started coughing again. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, leaving a long smear of red. He sat hard on the ground beside Evan then splayed himself out on his back. "Mothers of diseased chickens," he muttered. "I feel like shit."
Evan cradled his arm against his chest. "We're not going to make it to the Gate," he said with hard certainty. "At least not together."
"I won't leave you," Jonas gasped out. "I told you that already."
Evan shook his head. "They won't think you killed me," he said. "You don't have to worry about that."
Jonas turned his head to look at him and his eyes were a dark green in the pale light of dawn. "I won't leave you, Evan," He repeated. His breathing was too fast. "It's not about the GDO."
"You don't need to save me," Evan tried again. "Send someone back. I'll be fine."
"You're sitting out in the open off to the side of the main road to the Gate. Someone will come along and kill you as soon as their breakfast is finished," Jonas wheezed.
"We came in on this road," Evan said. "No one tried to kill us then."
Jonas shook his head. "I doubt you'll be that lucky twice."
"Which is exactly why you need to leave me and go back." Evan said with more patience than he was feeling. "Think of Kianna. Or Jos! They'd hate for something to happen to you."
Jonas frowned. "They'll be fine. You're the one that's injured." He coughed and then groaned.
"So are you!" Evan felt his temper fraying. "You've got a bleeding lung! And a head injury! You need to go back while you can still walk!"
Jonas sat up slowly. "Okay."
Evan blinked. "Okay?"
"Yeah," Jonas said. He stood gingerly, favouring his injured side. "I can't argue with your logic." He drew his gun, pulled out another magazine from the cargo pocket on his pant leg and reloaded, then handed the weapon to Evan. "Stay alive, Evan," he said.
And then to Evan's great surprise, Jonas leaned down, grabbed Evan's face with his hands, and bent to kiss him.
Evan had no idea if kissing was a Langaran good-bye ritual, or something Jonas did with everyone he fought with. But right that second Evan wanted to pretend that it was for him alone, and that Jonas wanted him to live not out of some misguided sense of responsibility, but because Evan mattered to him.
Because you matter to me, Evan thought. A whole lot.
Evan's eyes had closed, but he blinked them open when Jonas' lips never actually made contact.
"Sorry," Jonas muttered, leaning his forehead against Evan's. "I'd really like to, but..."
You're in love with Kianna. Or Jos, Evan thought. Guess it's not a Langaran ritual after all. He forced himself to smile. "I understand."
"Good." Jonas smiled that incredible smile of his, and Evan caught his breath.
"I have to go." Jonas gasped. With difficultly he hauled Evan to his feet and helped him walk the few steps to the bushes.
"Go hide." Jonas ordered him, his face white with pain. He gestured at the bushes that grew alongside the road. "Keep warm. I'll be back as soon as I can."
Evan grasped the branches of the closest bush to keep his balance and fished his GDO out of his pocket. He handed it to the other man. "Be safe."
"Always." Jonas grinned. And then he gently stroked Evan's face again. "Stay alive." He repeated. And then he took off down the path in a limping, uneven jog.
Carefully, Evan lowered himself into the bushes. Be safe. he thought. Make it home.
Evan figured he'd probably been in worse situations than this during his time with the SGC, but right at this moment he was hard-pressed to think of them.
He was slouched over in a ditch by the side of the road, barely hidden by the scrubby bushes that were nearly leafless from the cold. His clothes were damp from the wet ground and adding to his discomfort. He gripped his arm to his chest with his right hand clutching uselessly at his wound. He could feel the heat from the raging infection pulse against his palm.
He'd become feverish at some point after Jonas bolted for the Gate, which only made him feel colder and more miserable. His body ached, his skin burned, his knee was a throbbing knot of agony from his hip to his ankle. His arm hurt like it was being torn off.
It was very hard to stay awake.
His fever, cold, pain and exhaustion were overwhelming, and his eyes kept drifting shut. Several times he'd caught himself right before he'd fallen asleep, jerking awake with the suddenness of a fall down the stairs. But he knew he'd eventually fail, and then he'd freeze to death right there in the ditch. And then Jonas would find him staring up at nothing with big, empty eyes.
Evan jerked awake again.
He shifted, forcing himself to sit up straighter in the ditch, which only succeeded in making his damp clothes colder in the icy air. It was only mid-morning, and the anaemic sun barely added heat to the day. It was the kind of weather that required a jacket and a hat, and Evan had neither.
He pulled his good leg closer to his body, trying to make himself as small as possible. Every movement seemed to take forever, like his blood had already frozen. When he breathed out, his breath made a small cloud of steam.
Evan jerked himself awake again. His heart was pounding.
He'd heard the sound of heavy boots on gravel.
He drew his gun with his good hand, aiming it towards the road, and waited.
"I think he's over here!" someone yelled.
Evan swung the gun towards the voice and cocked it. He had no idea how many soldiers were out there, and he needed surprise to kill as many as he could before they took him down.
"I see him!" the same person called to his companions. Evan gritted his teeth, waiting for the stranger to step through the bushes so that his shot wouldn't miss.
"Boss!" Blair shouted, breaking through the bushes and landing on his knees right in front of him. "Thank God you're okay!"
Evan automatically put the safety back on the gun, feeling his hand start to shake. "I nearly shot you!"
"What?" Blair said, and then noticed Evan's gun for the first time. He paled. "Thanks for not firing, sir. I appreciate it."
"Major!" Laura cried, bursting through the leaves and branches. "We found you!"
Evan was still shaking with relief and adrenaline. "It's really good to see you guys." He tried to smile but his teeth were chattering too hard.
"You look like shit, sir," Blair said. "I'll go get the medics." He turned and dashed back through the bushes, hollering at someone further down the road.
Laura took off her jacket and then knelt by him, placing it gently over his chest. "Jesus, sir. Are you okay?"
"No," Evan replied honestly, shaking his head. "I'm really cold." Laura's jacket was warm from her body and it felt absolutely amazing, but it was like a drop in the bucket against the chills that were now wracking him.
"We'll get you back right away," Laura said, her brow creased in concern. "Dr. Lam will fix you up in no time at all."
"Great," Evan stuttered. He felt completely spent, like there wasn't any energy left in his body at all. His eyes started to close, and he jerked his head up, forcing himself to stay awake.
"It's okay," Laura said softly. "The medics are here. You can close your eyes."
It was like a command, and he felt his eyes drift shut.
He snapped them open. "Jonas?" he said in sudden panic. "Did he make it?"
Laura grinned at him. "Who do you think told us where you were?" She patted his shoulder. "Now go to sleep."
And he did.
The next several days ended up being a blurry mix of scattered images underscored with jolts of pain.
By the time Laura, Blair and the Search-and-Rescue team had gotten him back to Stargate Command, Evan's infection had spread from his arm to his bloodstream and his fever was high enough to make him delirious.
He dimly remembered Dr. Lam telling him something about his arm and the word 'debridement,' but he wasn't sure how the two things connected. Then she poked his wound with something and he may have screamed, and then she gave him the really good drugs.
The next thing he remembered was Blair and Laura standing by his bed. Laura was holding his hand and telling him that she was safe, and that Blair was safe and that he didn't have to worry about them, and maybe he'd like to go back to sleep?
After that, he remembered realizing that there was a cast on his knee, and being amazed at how much it didn't hurt, and then Laura asked if he was going to share those drugs that Dr. Lam had given him, and they had laughed, and then the image had sort of faded out.
He remembered waking up one time when the infirmary was really quiet, and seeing Jonas slouched down in a chair beside his bed, his face relaxed in sleep.
And then, one day he woke up, and he was awake.
Dr. Lam appeared almost immediately.
"Hello Major," she said in her no-nonsense voice. "How are you feeling?"
"Good." Evan said slowly, trying out the word. His throat was dry and his teeth felt like they were days overdue for a brushing, but otherwise he thought the word might fit. He smiled at Dr. Lam. "I feel good."
She didn't smile back. "You nearly died from your infection," she said, glaring at him. "You're lucky to be feeling anything at all."
Evan swallowed. "Thank you?"
"You're welcome," she replied in exactly the same clipped tone. With precise movements she checked his monitors and did something to his IV. "You've been in and out of consciousness for the last five days," she said. "You're probably hungry, but I'm only going to allow you clear fluids for now. If you don't barf those up we can see about giving you something more substantial later on."
His stomach growled in response. She glared at him.
"Sorry," he muttered.
Her smile was dutiful at best. "You can have visitors, but don't wear yourself out. If all goes well, I should be able to discharge you in a day or so."
"Thanks," he said again. He cleared his throat.
She glared at him, which Evan was beginning to realize wasn't actually a glare, but just her regular look. "How's my knee?"
"Fine," she snapped. "Vala came by this morning and zapped it with the Goa'uld healing device. It's fine now."
Evan blinked. "That was really nice of her."
Dr. Lam put her stethoscope into her ears. "You should buy her a present." She pressed the bell against his chest. "Breathe."
Three hours later, Evan was bored and antsy and really, really hungry.
His snack of chicken broth and yellow Jell-o had stayed down fine, but Dr. Lam was still being cautious so dinner had been soup and more Jell-o. She'd promised him actual food for breakfast, but that was at least seven hours away.
Evan had brushed his teeth, and then tried to read, but he'd given up when his stomach rumbling had become too distracting. He tried to sleep, but after doing nothing but sleep for the last five days he wasn't particularly tired. Col. Sheppard had jokingly offered to bring him paperwork the next time he visited, and Evan was debating having the night nurse call him just so he could take Sheppard up on his offer.
He sighed and lay back, staring at the grey concrete ceiling of the infirmary.
It reminded him of the ceiling in Jonas' hide-out on Langara. Which, of course, reminded him of Jonas.
Evan sighed again and tried not to think about him.
Blair had told him that Jonas had visited quite a lot while he'd been recovering in the infirmary, but Evan had only the dimmest of memories of that. Hardly anyone had visited him that afternoon after he'd truly woken up, which Evan assumed was on Dr. Lam's orders.
He wanted Jonas to visit, but also didn't. Somewhere between getting shot and getting back home, Evan knew he'd developed real feelings for Jonas. Which was kind of inconvenient considering that Jonas was in love with at least one other person--if not two--and, well, Jonas was in love with someone else. He was unavailable, and Evan had to live with that.
He wished Jonas had kissed him back on Langara, though, just because.
"Hey!" Jonas whispered right beside Evan's ear, making him jump. "Sorry!' He whispered loudly. "I'm sorry! I didn't know you were asleep."
"I wasn't," Evan said, smiling despite his earlier thoughts. He sat up, marvelling how easy that was when his arm and leg weren't hurting. He turned to Jonas, his smile widening, knowing he probably looked like a love-sick idiot. "It's good to see you."
Jonas smiled his trade-mark smile in return, which hit Evan both in his chest and somewhere lower. "It's good to see you, too."
Evan swallowed. "So," he said intelligently. "You look good." As soon as Evan said it, he realized it was true. Sometime in the past few days Jonas had had the meal, shower and sleep he so desperately needed. His hair looked newly cut, his face was shaven, and the terrible veneer of fatigue seemed to have melted away. If he'd looked handsome before, now he was incredible.
"Thanks," Jonas said cheerfully, seemingly not noticing how Evan was staring. "Vala Mal Doran healed me a few days ago, after my surgery. She's really nice." He plunked something down on Evan's tray. "I brought you some food."
Evan looked down and grinned. "Fantastic!" he said, immediately picking up one of the bananas Jonas had put on his tray. "How did you know?"
"Because Dr. Lam wouldn't let me eat anything for the whole day after I came out of surgery," he moaned. "I was starving. I figured she'd do the same to you."
Evan nodded vigorously, his mouth full of banana.
Jonas shook his head. "She's evil."
"Totally." Evan swallowed then took another bite. It was the best tasting banana he'd ever had. He smiled at Jonas while he chewed.
Jonas was watching his mouth.
Evan stopped chewing. "Jonas?"
"Gods," Jonas said, his voice sounding thick. "I really want to kiss you now."
Evan swallowed the chunk of banana and started coughing. Jonas pounded on his back and gave him some water.
"What?" Evan finally wheezed.
"I want to kiss you," Jonas repeated. "I thought you wanted to kiss me, too. Back on Langara." He looked crestfallen. "Was I wrong?"
"No!" Evan nearly shouted. "No," he said more quietly, confusion and hope starting a small war in his chest. "I did want to kiss you, but you stopped."
Jonas looked at him. "Of course."
Evan felt the hope die. "Jos and Kianna," he said with a sad smile. "I forgot."
Jonas was still looking at him. "What do they have to do with it?"
Evan blinked. "They're the reason why you didn't kiss me." He paused. "Aren't they?"
"No," Jonas said slowly. "It had more to do with the fact my mouth was full of blood from my punctured lung." He started to laugh. "Did you think I was in love with Jos or Kianna?" He laughed harder. "Or both?"
"Well, yeah," Evan said stiffly. "You did kiss them pretty passionately back there."
Jonas shook his head, still chuckling. "I can't believe you thought a Langaran tradition meant I was in love with my soldiers."
Evan blinked. "That's one hell of a tradition."
"It's like one last moment of happiness before expected death in battle," Jonas explained. "And it's the job of the commanding officer to give his soldiers that moment. Each country has its own variation."
Evan blinked again. "Do Langarans kiss all their soldiers before battle?"
"No," Jonas laughed. "Usually it's just a symbolic kiss the General gives his second-in-command in front of the troops."
Evan laughed as well. "I don't think that would go over too well here."
"Maybe you should introduce it." Jonas said, voice low, and suddenly it was like the heat just went up in the room.
"Maybe I should," Evan said, curling up his lips.
Jonas moved nearer, gently grasped the sides of Evan's head, and kissed him.
Evan pulled him close and kissed him back for all he was worth, and the kiss seemed to go on for hours.
When they finally separated they both were panting, and Evan was glad for the looseness of the scrub pants he was wearing. Jonas rested his forehead against Evan's, his hands still on either side of Evan's face.
"I'm so glad you didn't die," he said softly.
"I'm sorry the rescue was so bad," Evan said, feeling guilt twist in his gut. "You should never have gotten caught in that building. We should never have left you for so long. We should've come for you as soon as the Ori attacked--"
"Shh," Jonas said, putting his fingers across Evan's mouth for a moment. He rested his arms on the railing of Evan's bed. "I did a lot of thinking while I was waiting for you to recover," he said. "And I remembered how you told me that it wasn't my fault that my people had died--"
"It wasn't!" Evan interrupted immediately. "You tried to save them! You--"
"Shh," Jonas said again, and Evan shut up. Jonas smiled. "Well, I thought about what you said," he continued. "And I decided you were right. I didn't kill my people. The Ori did." He looked at Evan, his green eyes brilliant in the harsh light over Evan's bed. "All I wanted was for them to be free Kelownans. To have choices about how they lived their lives."
"It wasn't your fault," Evan repeated.
"They may have died," Jonas said, and now his eyes held the shine of unshed tears. "But at least they died free."
"Give me liberty, or give me death," Evan quoted. "It's a motto we Americans have believed in for a long time."
"Patrick Henry, 1775," Jonas said with a small smile. "His speech brought Virginia into your Revolutionary War."
Evan titled his head. "I didn't know that."
Jonas shrugged. "I like to read, and I never forget anything. I read about your revolution when I was at the SGC for the first time." His expression grew serious. "Maybe I was too heavily influenced by what I read when the Ori attacked."
"Maybe it wasn't a bad thing to be influenced by," Evan responded quietly. "There are worse things than death."
Jonas nodded. "Yes." He took Evan's hand.
"I'm sorry about your people," Evan said, gently squeezing Jonas' fingers.
"Me, too," Jonas replied softly. But then he smiled. "I'm glad I met you."
Evan grinned back. "Me, too."
"Kianna is going to join the scientists here at the SGC," Jonas said out of nowhere. "And Jos has decided he wants to train with the military, and maybe join a Gate team."
"Sounds good," Evan replied, settling back on his pillows. He wasn't quite sure where Jonas was heading with this conversation, but he was willing to wait. It was just really nice watching Jonas' lips move as he talked.
"So," Jonas said casually, picking up a banana. "Did you know that Vala is now the fifth person on SG-1?"
"Yeah, I did," Evan said, immediately getting Jonas' train-of-thought. It hadn't occurred to him until that moment, but having Jonas on his team could work really well. Laura and Parrish would love him, and Jonas would get a kick out of Blair. He smiled. "A five-member team seems like a good number."
"I think so, too." Jonas said, grinning at him as he pulled up a chair. He sat down and started to peel his fruit. "Tell me about the Ancient City of Atlantis."