Disclaimer: SGA? Not mine.
Author's Notes: This silly llittle look at John and Rodney (mostly Rodney) through Ronon's eyes is for Pinch Hitter #3. Thank you, Mysterious Pinch Hitter!
Summary: Rodney wants to talk about ex-girlfriends but Ronon's more interested in Star Trek.
"Speaking of exes," Rodney said. They hadn't really been exactly talking about exes, but apparently John mentioning that his ex-wife was now working for Homeworld Security was enough for Rodney to start reminiscing.
Ronon sighed and opened another beer. He'd been hoping to talk them into watching Iron Man again. Or maybe more episodes of Star Trek.
"I went out with this girl who only pretended to be geeky...or maybe she was geek light. Anyway, she didn't like Doctor Who and didn't think putting a stuffed Cthulhu on the Christmas tree was funny. But," he said, holding up a finger. "The real deal breaker was when she told me her favorite Star Trek movie was, and I quote, 'that one with Kirk and Picard.'"
"You're kidding." Sheppard sounded shocked.
"They made one with both of them?" Ronon asked with a frown. He thought he'd seen all the Star Trek movies, but apparently John and Rodney had been holding out on him.
"No...okay, yeah they did, but it's one of those things of which we do not speak." Rodney scowled. "Turned out that Generations was the only Trek movie she'd ever seen. And you know, blond hair and a nice rack will excuse a lot of things...."
"Rack's a stupid word for tits," Ronon said, a little impatient with Rodney's blather about women. At this point, leaning against John the way he was, it wasn't like he was fooling anyone in the room. "Was the movie really that bad?"
"Yes," John said.
"Awful," Rodney said at the same time.
"Nancy liked the Star Wars prequels better than the original trilogy," John said a few moments later, as he handed out the next round of beers. "Said they were better looking."
"They are," Ronon said. As Rodney opened his mouth to argue, he added, "story's not as good though."
"True," John said. "But still...." He shrugged.
"Yeah," Rodney said. "This girl...Belinda? Melinda? Wow, I've totally forgotten her name. Anyway, she liked rom coms and while I've got nothing against Hugh Grant, having my method of courtship compared with his got a little tiring."
"But you're so smooth," John said. "I'm told that remembering cup sizes but not names brings all the girls to the yard."
"Cup sizes?" Ronon asked, although really, he kind of wished they'd get back to Star Trek.
"Women's bras. The cup size is...." John trailed off, looking almost embarrassed.
"Oh Jesus, you're so repressed. Cup size indicates how big her boobs are."
"You know something?" John said, scowling as he leaned away from Rodney a little. "I know it's habit and camouflage and all, but the whole pig thing is getting kind of old. Knock it the fuck off, okay?"
Thanks to several of the female Marines and scientists, Ronon knew what "pig" meant in this context. "He's right. You really think anyone here cares if you're gay?" He reached out and lightly punched Rodney's shoulder. "And if they do, I'll beat the crap out of them for you."
"Sorry," Rodney said, looking genuinely apologetic. "I just...like John said, it's habit. A bad one."
John slid his arm around Rodney's waist and pulled him in close while Ronon pretended to examine the label on his beer bottle. Rodney could say what he liked about Canadian beer being better than American, but Ronon thought his Molson's was just as bad as John's Bud.
"So," he said when he finally looked up again. The tips of John's ears were pink and Rodney looked happier. "About this Star Trek movie you've been keeping from me...."
"My God, we've turned you into a total fanboy," Rodney said. "Fine, fine, we'll watch it, but we're going to need another six-pack of beer. Maybe two."
"That wasn't as bad as the fifth one," Ronon said, a couple of hours and four beers later. "But it still sucked."
"We warned you, but noooooo, you had to see it for yourself." Rodney shook a finger at him.
"Yeah, my fault," Ronon admitted. "Let's watch First Contact again."
"A monster," Rodney muttered as John brought up the right file. "We've created a monster."