sgasesa_admin (sgasesa_admin) wrote in sga_santa,

Fic: Unburdened (McKay/Sheppard, NC-17)

Title: Unburdened
Author: hoktauri
Recipient: mific
Pairing: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~1100
Warnings: Mild dub-con due to an alien aphrodisiac
Disclaimer: I am obviously not the owner of these characters because I am actually treating them good.
Summary: John drinks a tea off-world that has him very eager to unburden himself of long-buried feelings.

Rodney felt the lamp on the table fall as soon as he hit it, then heard it land on the floor with a crack behind him. He glanced back to see if it was damaged, but John was so eager and feral against him that he didn't manage it.

"John, this is--" Before he could finish, John cut him off with a litany of unintelligible words.

"Yeah, I know, we should stop, I should stop, but I can't, Rodney, I--" He kissed him again, their bodies flush and John's skin amazingly hot to the touch.

Rodney wondered if it was a side effect of the tea, so he made a mental note (frankly, the only kind of note he could make in that moment) of it when they got back to Atlantis, and got John to the infirmary.

"John, if you want to stop, just try," Rodney said, pushing against John's shoulders. John's whimpering grew the more distance Rodney put between them.

"I said should not want, Rodney," he moaned.

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Rodney replied. "Just--what about what I want?"

John tugged at his hair with both hands, then let out a frustrated groan. "This morning, you said that--"

"Yes, I know what I said, but this isn't what I had in mind for our first time!"

"You had something in mind for our first time?"

Rodney sighed, frowning at the grimace John made. Another mental note: not acting on the aphrodisiac caused discomfort at the least, but likely also pain. "There was going to be mood lighting and a good meal beforehand and-- well, we certainly wouldn't have been off-world!"

"Rodney, if you're trying not to turn me on here, it's failing," John said, reaching for the belt on Rodney's pants.

Rodney let him lead them to the bed, returned the kissing fervently, and then got into it, damn the consequences. He got John's shirt off, the heat under his touch like a fever waiting to break. Then he saw John was sweating more than when they'd started, and he briefly considered that making John wait had been what was hurting him earlier.

"I didn't bring anything for this," Rodney said against John's lips.

"We'll have to make do then," John said, freeing Rodney from his pants.

John's hand was warm around his cock, and he jacked him off quickly, which Rodney didn't actually mind. They would take their time with each other the next time; for now, the faster this was over with, the better for them both.

Rodney bucked then at the touch against his entrance. "John, what are you...? Oh, god." He relaxed a little, because despite John's haphazard movements, it felt like nothing Rodney had ever experienced before.

John used Rodney's own come to finger him, open him up, and when he was inside Rodney all the way, Rodney was very glad he hadn't protested this turn of events.


Waking up off-world in a strange bed was always a disorienting experience. Waking up off-world in a strange bed next to one of your teammate's - naked - brought with it a deeper sort of dissonance.

John stared, frozen in place, at Rodney as he continued sleeping peacefully beside him. Everything that happened the night before was very vivid in John's memory; whatever had been in that tea hadn't dulled his senses or his mind in the least. In fact, if anything, it had set his brain on fire, causing him to make great leaps in his thinking that he would normally not make.

Probably shouldn't tell Rodney about that though. If he got his hands on that stuff, sure, Atlantis might benefit, but John's ass sure wouldn't.

Especially if Rodney went at him the way John had.

"Hey," Rodney mumbled, eyes barely open slits. "Morning."

"Morning to you," John said. "How're you feeling?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Rodney replied. "You were unstoppable last night, you know? I'd be surprised if you weren't at least a little tired."

John panicked. "Unstoppable?" he asked, worry in his voice that he could hide. They'd had a brief moment before going on this mission that had led John to believe that he and Rodney both felt the same way about each other, but what if he'd been wrong? What if Rodney was trying to let him down easy? "I didn't-- I mean, you wanted me to. Right? Oh, Christ."

Rodney sat up sharply, propping on one elbow, and placing a hand on John's chest, he pushed him back against his pillow.

"No, John, that's not what I-- Yes, I wanted you to. That wasn't what I meant, I should have said, uh, well, insatiable is a bit cliche, but for now, it works."

"Thank god," John sighed.

"I mean... what about you?" Rodney asked. "That tea was... well, it made you want things, right? Things you wouldn't normally...?"

"Everything we did, I wanted, too," John assured him.

"Good," Rodney said, flopping back down. "Good-good. Now we can move on to the awkward portion of the day."

"Why would it need to be awkward?"

"Because it's us?"

"Last night, you said you had plans," John reminded him. "Plans about our first time?"

Rodney gulped audibly. "I can neither confirm nor deny such plans."

"Rodney," John chided, slipping effortlessly back into the easy rapport they always had.

"Okay, fine!" Rodney huffed. "I've imagined it, okay? I mean, when you said what you said yesterday, in the locker room, I thought... I guess I thought you were joking? But I have had... I've had feelings for you for years and I... well, I wouldn't want to jeopardize our friendship for an off-world fling, ya know?"

"What I said yesterday..." John started, stopping himself so he could face Rodney, leaning on one arm and taking Rodney's hand in his. "Teyla told us about the tea. I thought that, since I'd already told how I felt, that I'd be fine. I'd already 'unburdened' myself of feelings, so I... But I held back."

"That's shocking," Rodney said.

John shoved him playfully. "Shut up."

"So what exactly did you hold back?"

"I don't just have the hots for you, McKay," John said. After a moment to gather the words and the courage to say them, he added, "I care about you. More than I can say."

"Well, if last night was an illustration of what can't be said, then the feeling is mutual."

"Good," John said, smiling, and he leaned forward to kiss Rodney, slow and gentle this time, looking forward to taking his own sweet time with Rodney the next chance he got.
Tags: genre: slash, pairing: mckay/sheppard

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